


Something to Live For

by noexiiistence



Series: The Road to Recovery [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Haurchefant doesn't die bc I say so, M/M, Trans!Haurchefant, ambiguous WoL, based heavily on long standing headcanons, very minor MCH 50-60 quest spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23543281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noexiiistence/pseuds/noexiiistence
Summary: Haurchefant and Stephanivien had been together, in secret, for sixteen years. But, after the Vault, Haurchefant decides he won't bring this secret to his grave.
Relationships: Haurchefant Greystone/Stephanivien de Haillenarte
Series: The Road to Recovery [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1716850
Kudos: 24
Collections: Everybody Lives AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been a headcanon for me and my girlfriend for years- as we've been writing Haurchefant and Stephanivien for years- and I'm finally putting it down in a fic. Shoutout to her for having to deal with by consistent grammar questions

Even before entering the Vault, the day had been long and busy. Alarm bells alerting to the heretic invasion had come in the small hours of the morning, pulling the majority of Ishgard from their beds and Haurchefant was no exception. He had gone from his bed to the streets- only to find the Warrior of Light returning to the city with both Iceheart and the Azure Dragoon in tow and his day hadn’t slowed down since. In truth, he didn’t mind- it was the price of change and he was far from the only one in the city with a full plate- few enough with the same as his, but full nonetheless.

He did, however, wish that he had gotten a chance to tell Stephanivien about the truth uncovered by the Warrior of Light. As much as he had promised his father his safe return, he knew there was always uncertainty as a knight, every battle could well be his last- and this more than most as he was going against the very church that served as the city’s foundation. And if any of this went wrong, he wanted to be sure Stephanivien was told. Of all the nobility Haurchefant knew, Stephanivien most deserved to know after spending half his life dedicated to Skysteel and her employees, teaching the lowborn to stand up for themselves and fight for their rights.

Haurchefant can’t stop the soft chuckle that escapes his lips as he steps into the Vault behind Lucia and Estinien. To think, Stephanivien was the one accused of fomenting insurrection little more than a week ago and yet it was  _ he _ who was storming the Vault.

The fight down to the dungeons was blissfully minimal, their distraction having worked as intended, but resistance wasn’t wholly absent, and not a few of the others sustained injuries for their efforts. Fortunately, no wounds inflicted upon them even so little as slowed their pace and they made their way down quickly.

The dungeons are surprisingly empty- a fact Haurchefant chooses not to dwell on- making it easy to find Ser Aymeric’s cell, most of the still loyal temple knights keeping guard as he, Lucia, and Estinien located him. Aymeric looks speechless at his rescue and Haurchefant can find no words to offer that look on the Lord Commander’s face.

“We must hurry,” Lucia informs, unlocking the cell with a key taken from one of the felled guards. “We do not know when reinforcements will arrive.”

“Of course,” Aymeric replies and Haurchefant smiles his relief as he stands on his own. He was clutching his left arm and looked rough around the edges, but he looked far better than Haurchefant had feared. “Thank you.”

“Ishgard yet has need of you,” Haurchefant replies, not dropping his smile as he moves from the doorway so Aymeric can make his way out.

“We’d best get moving; the Warrior of Light may yet need our aid,” Estinien responds.

“Yes, of course.” Aymeric stumbles a step and Haurchefant moves to help steady and support him which earns a grateful nod. “Lead the way.”

Moving back through the vault was much quicker than their descent, having left no opposition behind them in any fit state to fight even should they not be dead, and none of their party was truly slowing their pace. Even Aymeric’s injuries didn’t slow them. The further up through the floors they move, the clearer the sounds of distant fighting become and Haurchefant feels the next wave of adrenaline coming, preparing him for possibly launching into another fight. He was always excited for battle and he was finding he was even more so when the battle led to revolution, for positive changes for Ishgard.

As they neared the roof, they could hear a battle still raging above and their pace quickens, unspokenly agreeing to hurry to help the Warrior of Light. This was never their battle, after all, this wasn’t their city. Did they not owe it to them, then, to do all they could to support when they fought for their cause?

They hear the battle end as they ascend the stairs to the roof and they chase the sound of retreating footsteps across the roof towards the airship dock. They’re not far behind now and they catch up once through the doors where they find Thordan retreating with the Heaven’s Ward. Aymeric calls out, stumbling a few paces forward and out of Haurchefant’s grip as his attention focuses on the Warrior of Light. They seem mostly unharmed, if singed and bruised somewhat. But they were standing, they were breathing without too much trouble.

“We were not too late!” he declares happily, glad to see the Warrior of Light return his smile. Momentaily, attention turns back to Aymeric, imploring his father to tell the public the truth. It’s a hopeful, if futile effort, but, most importantly, it bought them a moment. With a nod to the Warrior of Light, they both take off at a run. Halfway down the dock, however, a noise has Haurchefant turning to look back.

Only to see a spear of light being hurled.

“Look out!” he calls, turning back and speeding up, tackling the Warrior of Light moments before the spear hits the ground mere ilms from his feet and shatters. He feels the Warrior of Light slide from under him, but he, himself, remains frozen in place.

He almost died. He had promised his father he wouldn’t, and yet he almost had. He had spent a decade and a half promising Stephanivien that  _ someday _ they could tell their families about their relationship, and he almost took it to his grave- knowing full well Stephanivien would continue to keep the secret once he was gone. They had been together for sixteen years. Sixteen years of hiding. Of closets and sneaking out of bedrooms. Even longer of him reading Stephanivien love poems he couldn’t understand. Sixteen years of private moments, of smiles and stolen kisses and affection and affirmation and  _ love, _ pure actual love, and he almost took it to his grave. Because he was too aware of status, of reputation and consequences of an heir dating a bastard.

But times were changing now, weren’t they?

Taking Lucia’s offered hand to help him up, he laughs. “Well! That one was rather close!”

“Indeed it was,” Ser Aymeric replies, making his way over slower now that they had missed their chance at Thordan. “And quick thinking, besides. Are you unharmed?”

“Never better! Come, let us tell the others of our success.”

* * *

The moment Haurchefant could slip away, he did, heading straight to the manufactory. He hoped everyone there was unharmed, as the heretics had been right outside it’s doors the night before. Externally, however, the building looked unharmed and that was promising. He walks in the doors, noticing the bustle, but, though he looked, he saw nothing resembling an injury on anyone and he’s relieved for it. Grinning, he makes his way to the back unbothered, as his presence was common enough to raise no eyebrows. He spots Stephanivien reading over a parchment and he feels his smile soften.

Not even bothering to announce his presence- any more than the sound of his armor clinking as he moved- he goes straight over to Stephanivien, catching him around the waist and pressing their lips together. Stephanivien always kissed with his whole being. All things worth doing, were worth all the passion you could throw into it- and few were as passionate as him. Strategically, Haurchefant had pinned himself with a wall at his back, Stephanivien pressed close his hands resting on Haurchefant’s hips.

“I do not wish to hide anymore, my sun,” Haurchefant murmurs against Stephanivien’s lips. “I do not wish to take this to the grave as I almost did a mere bell ago.”

“What?” Stephanivien asks, blinking, pulling back to look at Haurchefant’s face, but he follows the movement, stealing another shorter kiss.

“We saved Lord Aymeric from the Vault and I almost died saving the Warrior of Light- but I  _ survived _ and I realized I do not want to hide anymore.”

“My heart- but why was he in the Vault?”

“The Warrior of Light travelled with Iceheart and the Azure Dragoon only to find our doctrine false-  _ all _ in Ishgard are descended from the original knight’s twelve and it is  _ we  _ who betrayed Dravania, not the other way around.” He steals another kiss here, unable to help himself, unaware of anyone who may remain nearby other than Stephanivien pressed against him. “Thordan knew this truth, but sought to suppress it to continue the war and Ishgard’s oppression of those currently considered lower born. But you were right about the low born, my sun! You have always been so!”

Haurchefant watches this sink in slowly. “.....I was?” Stephanivien’s voice is quiet and surprised for a moment before his face splits into a wide grin. “Well, but of course I was! The prospectometer never lies!”

Giddily, Haurchefant presses their lips together for one last kiss, gentler, lingering this time. Relishing in not caring if they were seen. Once the kiss breaks, Haurchefant let's Stephanivien go and moves away from the wall, smiling. “Now, is there anything I can do to be of help here?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the boys tell Steph's family and Get Emotional

Haurchefant wakes slightly to the bed shifting as Stephanivien wakes and moves to get up for the day. He murmurs and rolls over, wrapping his arms around Stephanivien sitting on the edge of the bed and presses a kiss into his shoulder blade, keeping him from standing. “When did you wish to tell your family, my sun?” Haurchefant asks through a yawn. He feels Stephanivien freeze in his arms and he shifts up just enough to nuzzle his ear. When Stephanivien doesn’t speak, he continues. “They are _your_ family and I thought it wise to inform them first.”

“.....Really?” Comes the quiet response. Haurchefant can’t say he blames Stephanivien’s skepticism- they _had_ been hiding for the entirety of their relationship at his request. He remembered Stephanivien’s face when they had barely been together for a day before he requested secrecy. Remembered the time they broke up for a week over it before Stephanivien once again relented. Despite Haurchefant’s desperate promises, it would be no real wonder if Stephanivien had truly never thought this day would come to pass.

“I will not change my mind on this again. To long have I forced us to hide- no longer. My job is dangerous enough, I will not keep risking my life for Ishgard while allowing her to deny us this.” He barely manages the declaration before his yawn somewhat ruined the profoundness of it.

“Then I am ready whenever you are, my heart! Why, I would even wake the manor to declare it now!”

Haurchefant chuckles and nuzzles his face against Stephanivien’s neck. “I do not think that wise- I am not even dressed, nor has the sun arisen.” He yawns again. “I can send Joye once I and the rest of the manor have awoken. Then we can gather your family for the news.”

Steph nods his approval. “Then I shall eagerly await her arrival!” Haurchefant can hear the grin on his face and feels how it tugs at his heart. To think he had deprived them both of this day for so long, to imagine what all might have changed should they have allowed the world to know. They would have been stronger for it, Haurchefant was sure, but it was too late to change the past.

With a smile, Haurchefant presses a kiss into the side of Stephanivien’s neck, right on top of a hickey from the night before, before releasing him and settling back under the warm blankets. Half awake, he watches Stephanivien dress and prepare for his work day, smiling. “My sun?” he calls right as Stephanivien is about to exit the room.

“Yes, my heart?”

“I love you.”

With a grin, Stephanivien walks back to the bed and kisses him gently on the lips. “I love you too.”

* * *

When Haurchefant wakes again, he’s confused for a moment- this bed was softer than his, the room felt different. It takes him a minute to remember he’s still in Stephanivien’s bed, another minute still to remember he hadn’t left it because he no longer _needed_ to. They were going to tell their families today. Today, Haurchefant had decided he could kiss Stephanivien on the street without a care, opinions of others be damned.

Anxious yet giddy, Haurchefant pulls himself out of bed and starts finding and pulling on his clothes from the day before. He pauses, debating on whether or not he should pull on his armor as well, before deciding to do so- Stephanivien had always loved seeing him in armor; he had worked hard for his knighthood. And it would feel far more comfortable outing their relationship in what he wore more days than not.

Once dressed, Haurchefant leaves Stephanivien’s room and stops the first servant he crosses paths with, asking her to locate Joye and request that she go get Stephanivien from the manufactory and then gather the family in the parlor. She nods and bows before scurrying off to do as requested and Haurchefant moves to the front room. He glances into a decorative mirror on the wall and runs his hands through his hair to tame it. Joye walks into the room as he’s straightening his shirt under his chainmail.

“It’s ‘bout time ye did right by him, me lordship,” she says in lieu of a greeting but he can still hear her smile even before he turns to look at her. “We’re happy for ye.”

“As am I,” he replies, returning her smile. “But let’s not keep him waiting- it’s been long enough and we both know he is beyond eager for this moment.”

With a bow, Joye exits the manor and Haurchefant continues fussing with his clothes in the mirror. Sure, he had just woken up, but he did not intend to look so. While the Haillenarte family had seen him in many states, having half grown up in their manor, he wanted to look decent, at least, for this declaration. While he didn’t expect anyone to be wholly taken aback, as they’d been attached at the hip since the moment they met, it was a _meaningful_ moment. To him, at least.

Not a few minutes after Joye left, she’s returning with Stephanivien in tow, grinning fit to split his face in two. Haurchefant turns to face him with a grin to match and takes one of Stephanivien’s hands in his. “Are you ready, my sun?”

“Never been more so!”

With a chuckle, Haurchefant kisses Stephanivien’s cheek before turning his smile towards Joye. “Many thanks. For everything.”

Joye bows. “Hurt him and there’s a bullet with yer name on it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Haurchefant replies, still smiling and Joye nods before returning to her duties around the manor. With a deep breath to steel his nerves, Haurchefant leads Stephanivien by the hand to the parlor. He pushes open the door and they enter the room together.

As requested, the whole family currently home had convened in the room and were currently making idle conversation- all of which stops as they enter. Laniatte was still at her post at the Rosehouse, likely on high alert after the archbishop’s retreat- but now was not the time to linger on such thoughts. Aurvael looked as he always did, freshly home from the Diadem, Count Baurendouin looked relaxed for having Countess Yvonne smiling by his side, and Francel looked quiet but expectant and curious in the corner.

“Glorious news!” Stephanivien announces loudly as they enter. Haurchefant feels his anxiety spike and, while he knows it’s needless, he can’t help but worry about rejection despite being surrounded only by affection and curiosity. He had been part of this family since Stephanivien had first brought him home when they were small, he knew he’d be accepted by them- even if he wasn’t certain that would have been the case from the off- but he couldn’t help but worry. His late step-mother had seen to that.

With a squeeze of Stephanivien’s hand, Haurchefant looks at the gathered faces, curiosity piqued and he takes a deep breath. “Stephanivien and I have been dating for sixteen years,” he declares before he could even potentially lose his resolve. He wouldn’t force Stephanivien to say it, it wasn’t his fault it had been a secret for so long. If anyone was going to get the questions or scrutiny it should be him. But the news causes the faces through the room to soften, not confusion or anger, and Haurchefant relaxes.

“Congratulations!” Aurvael says loudly, bounding across the room and pulling them both into a tight hug. This, he knew, mattered to Stephanivien more than his parents’ approval did, before the manufactory he and Aurvael had been thick as thieves often claiming to be twins- a statement countess Yvonne once told Haurchefant was false- so his approval would mean much and more to Stephanivien. In truth, it meant more to Haurchefant than he realized it would, as the both of them hug Aurvael back, just as hard.

“My thanks,” Stephanivien replies and Haurchefant can hear in his voice that he’s choking up a little. He takes his hand again and gives it another squeeze once the hug breaks, conveying his support and understanding as best he can. This was a good thing, a happy moment, and it deserved any tears spilled by either of them.

“Thank you, Aurvael,” Haurchefant replies at length.

“Is that all?” Haurchefant turns, confused, to look at Baurendouin as he speaks. He’s still smiling so it’s clearly meant to be a lighthearted question, but Haurchefant didn’t quite understand.

“Father?” Stephanivien asks, clearly confused as well.

“You were far from made for subtlety, my dear,” Countess Yvonne replies, her gentle smile amused. “We are, of course, happy for you and glad you have decided to tell us as we figured you would on your own time. But we have also had our suspicions. You two always _were_ quite attached.”

Stephanivien’s the one that squeezes their hands this time and doesn’t let up as Yvonne comes over and kisses them both on their foreheads gently and _that_ almost gets to him. Yvonne had always been far more a mother figure to him than his step-mother had and he had never been allowed extensive time with his birth mother. How long had she known? How long had sneaking around the manor been more a lie than a secret? He almost feels guilty, but no one seems upset or angry at them, no one is lacking in affection or a smile. Except-

Haurchefant glances over to the corner Francel occupied. Instead of smiling, he was focused intently on the floor, posture rigid, hands clasped tightly in his lap. Whatever his thoughts, he didn’t seem inclined to voice them here or now, knowing that it was not the time for such. But, certainly, it was something Haurchefant would have to find him and ask about once he had time to process the information, assuming Francel didn’t approach him first. He worried deeply about what it could mean for the youngest of the Haillenarte family, but chose not to linger overlong on the thought. He would know in due time.

They linger a few minutes longer, accepting congratulations and warmth until Haurchefant can all but feel Stephanivien’s desire to return to his work and excuses them both, explaining he still had to tell his own father. Once outside the manor, Haurchefant kisses Stephanivien’s cheek. “Go back to work, my sun.”

“Do you not want my presence when you tell you father?” Stephanivien asks and Haurchefant knows it’s a true offer, but he also knows Stephanivien’s all but dying to get back to his own work.

“Best if I go alone.” He uses their still joined hands to pull Stephanivien into a warm and lingering kiss. “I’ll come speak to you after. I am certain it will all be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be another fic focusing on Francel and branching off of this chapter. With luck, that comes soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Edmont gets sentimental

Haurchefant watches Stephanivien aethernet to Skysteel before taking a deep breath and walking across the street and into his own manor. Haurchefant thought this conversation best done alone, but that only made it harder without someone to share the anxiety with. But Haurchefant had spent all of his time growing up at the Haillenarte manor and Stephanivien hadn’t spent overlong at the Fortemps one ever. These walls took quite a long time to be anything approaching comfortable for him and Stephanivien had known such from a young age. As such, it was still strange to see Stephanivien in the manor anywhere but in his bedroom- a feat he learned to climb the manor for as a child. But Haurchefant loved his father and his home, flaws and all and he deserved to be able to not hide there as well. And his father deserved to hear it from his own mouth.

Haurchefant knocks on the door to his father’s study, knowing it where he was most likely to be this early in the morning, and gently pushes the door open slowly, peeking in. “Father? If you are not too busy, I have a matter I wish to speak with you about.”

“Of course,” Edmont replies, gesturing to the empty chair on the other side of his desk as he sets down his quill and puts aside his journal to let the pages dry.

Haurchefant enters and closes the door behind him before sitting as offered. He thinks carefully about how to best word this announcement. He and his father had never been close, but that didn’t mean he knew how this conversation was likely to go. His father loved him, he knew this much, and Haurchefant had seen first hand how his father had defended him from his step-mother as a child and it was hardly his fault he could not always be around. He had expected Stephanivien’s family to be supportive- they always had been- but his father always had been quicker on the refusals and quite more traditional besides. At least Baurendouin had Yvonne to soften his edges.

Haurchefant takes a deep breath and looks his father in the eye, steeling himself for whatever was to come next. “I have been in a relationship with Stephanivien for sixteen years.” He stops there to gauge the reaction. He doesn’t expect it to be negative, truly, but he also doesn’t know what to expect and would rather be asked for more information than give too much

“Baurendouin never mentioned,” Edmont replies after a speculative moment, half as a statement and half as a question.

“We have only just told him. ‘Twould be passing unfair for him to know and force him to not speak of it. And while, it seems, he suspected, he was never a man for idle rumor.” Haurchefant’s carefully measuring each word while also trying to hide how nervous he is, though he thinks, perhaps, his stillness might give it away- he had always been quite an animated talker.

“....So why tell us now?” Edmont asks. “Surely there must have been a reason you hid it for all these years?”

“I-” Haurchefant pauses and frowns. He didn’t quite know how to put his response into words for he had never had to. Sixteen years and Stephanivien had never asked why. Only now was he wondering if, perhaps, he should be worried about that fact. But there was nothing he could do about it here or now. “I am a bastard. He is the heir. It….felt like the right decision, at the time, to hide it. Quite poor form to repay the Haillenarte family’s kindness by initiating scandal in their eldest’s love life.” Haurchefant shrugs. “I never thought it would be _forbidden_ by either you or them, not once my step-mo- Not since Mirane’s death. Though, I cannot say I expected it to be encouraged either, however, his family has thus proven me wrong.”

He didn’t want to tell his own father he felt more at home in the Haillenarte manor than here- even though he likely already knew. He knew it wasn’t his father’s fault the Countess had hated him so, and he had never held it against him. But the result was the same, was it not? He had never felt safe at home, often fleeing across the street to his best friend’s family whenever he could, he barely knew Baurendouin, sure, but he knew his own father less in some ways. Thus even after having this conversation once, he didn’t know how to expect it to turn out again.

Edmont offers a bittersweet smile. “You always seemed happiest whenever with Stephanivien, despite the trouble he would drag you into. It comes as little surprise to me for you to have fallen for him. You are your mother’s son, more than you perhaps realize, and she always knew one does not help who they love.”

“Father?” Haurchefant asks, confused. While he had been uncertain what to expect, a mention of his mother had not been it. “While I am always eager to hear more about her, I do not see what my mother has to do with this conversation?

“Did she ever tell you about us?” Edmont asks and Haurchefant blinks. This is the most he had heard about her from him since her death many years ago. He had met her a few times and had always enjoyed her company but he couldn’t say he had _known_ her, not like he would have liked to.

“She worried doing so may have made the Countess angry. She much preferred to hear about me.”

Edmont nods, understanding. He, of all people, would know how his late wife would have reacted to Haurchefant learning more about his mother than she wished, much more so about her shared past with his father. “Our story started with the death of my brother, many years before I met Mirane. Instead of consoling me, she told me to stop blaming myself and I almost had her fired.” Edmont’s face morphs into a small, soft, and genuine smile as he thinks back. “Our relationship started less than a year later.”

He sighs and glances out the window, seeing the past instead of the snow outside. “She was strong-willed and we both knew the relationship was ill-fated- however, I refused to let her go when I married. I never _forced_ her to do anything, I do not think I could have, however I did not wish to see the end of her. Perhaps my certainty that no one could match her was why I wed who I did and when I did. Adrienne never liked my wife and the sentiment was always mutual. So when she ended up pregnant mere moons after Mirane did, she made me promise to keep you happy and not let her hurt you.” Edmont pauses here and looks back to Haurchefant, sat still in his chair. “I know Mirane left you with scars and I know I did not protect you as she wished. For that, I do apologize.”

“I-” Haurchefant finds himself speechless for a moment, able to do little more than blink as he tries to digest the fact that his father had just told him more about his mother than he ever had before _and_ apologized at the same time- for mistakes Haurchefant never blamed him for. “But how does this relate to our earlier conversation?”

“She would have been proud,” Edmont replies simply.

Haurchefant feels his heart stop. His whole life he had never known he wanted to hear those words, that he wanted to know if the man he was today was someone his mother could be proud of. After a childhood of fighting for everything he ever wanted, he wanted to know if she would be proud. And he had never known, and would have remained oblivious if not for his father speaking the words. He didn’t know what to say in reply, and even if he did, he found himself incapable of little more than blinking as his mind is shattered and he has to reorganize his thoughts back into anything resembling coherence.

“I never meant to make you feel as though you should doubt that I would allow you the freedom to date whoever your heart should desire. I learned well from my indiscretions and do not wish the same on any of my children.”

“The- the secrecy was never about you, father,” Haurchefant manages, still breathless but managing to pull himself together.

“Yet you felt little freedom in the manor. Your friends hardly ever came here, for you always went to them. You still, at times, act as though you should fear misstepping. And it is not unknown that you do not spend your every night in your own bed, just as it is known he is over far less than you are gone.”

Haurchefant takes a deep breath, trying to pull himself together for the remainder of this conversation. He could go back to assessing everything later, when he was back with Stephanivien who would understand what he felt. “It is true that I still find comfort in the Haillenarte manor, I cannot well lie about that. However, I do not feel discomfort at home, any longer. And I have never blamed you for either, father.”

At this, Edmont smiles. It’s a small and tired expression, communicating the many nights he had worried about just this. It carries more affection than Haurchefant is used to seeing from his father for anyone or anything. “You have my blessing. I wish you both the best in your continued relationship. And should he ever desire, he is more than welcome here.”

With a bright grin, Haurchefant stands and bows. “Thank you, father,” He says before quietly exiting the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus ends the first of three fics, and the shortest of the lot by a landslide.


End file.
